"I dont need a man that looks like a model, looks arent everything. I don't want a man who takes life too serious, I have a sense of humor, therefore I'm a goof troop. I dont want a man who feels the need to go out and party every weekend. I like staying home, watching movies or maybe read some good books. I dont want a man who compliments me way too much because I might think its a joke. I dont need a man that will pressure me into having sex, instead he would ask whether Im sure with it or not. I obviously dont need a perfect relationship because truth to be told, it doesnt exist. I just want somebody I can be myself with, without having to pretend to be somebody else I'm not. A man that would love me best at my worst and appreciate everything I am."
Well, for the faith I have in me for God who is watching and listening to me now, actually made every each of my words up there came true. One month ago, one gorgeous man came into my life out of the blue and took my whole life into one amazing world he created himself. I was like a lost human looking for guidance from stars and he was one of the star that led me into the right path Ive been looking for. The man I'm talking about here is Azzam Ariff Azmi or well known as Ajam Woohoo. Probably a bonus for the looks, because I did stated that I dont need a man who became girls coveted, God the Almighty. He gave me more than I've ever asked for. He is everything, written up there. Or I must say, "was". I believe he is still the same person eventho my mind told me he has changed and my sight shows a different person than the person I used to know a months ago. In spite of everything I've been through, I finally found something different that worth every effort of mine to fight for. I wont use wonderful, adorable or anything sweet words that can actually define someone. He is beyond words can describe, only God knows.
In the early process of getting to know each other, I was a bit tossed-up. Well I had a chip on my shoulder once and I wont take the risk of getting the same feelings again but I just cant help it. He is like my blue moon, something that happen once in a life time, I know the risk of falling in love but what else can I say. Heart speaks louder than my mind.I was undoubtedly into him but as much as I wanted to cross my fingers, some things were meant to end halfway. Just exactly how our love story ended. As we both get down to brass tacks, something just had to go wrong or probably the time would come in between but maybe its just another test from God. He gave me everything I wanted and He took it back everything in a blink of an eye. I understand and its no use to beat a dead horse. But I swear if there's something I can do to fix everything, I would bend over backwards for him. I would go back to square one just to fix everything so nothing will go wrong again. He is something I need in my past to my future. He has everything I need in a man. I cant just let go. Trust, I can move on but the thing is. I dont want to, I know letting him go is like throwing a diamond into pieces of broken glass. I have to make him stay with me. Saying goodbye is painful but whats beyond painful is asking for someone to stay when they never wanted to stay. I swear, that i love him so much. I don't want lose him. x