#10

I have so many things to ask but I'd rather not bother you with it so I left it untold, unanswered. Eventho each of them kills, breaks, hurts. I cant feel anything anymore, my heart, its shattered badly. Knowing that you dont care about how I feel. The wounds, its exaggerating day by day. Everything is so excessive, the pain and of course same goes to my love towards you. All these things came so randomly into my life and I'm saying this not because I dont appreciate it, instead I am grateful but its getting uber bigger that I can hardly control any of them. I dont wanna hurt you and I am so sorry for hurting you. Just please, let me understand what you truly feel deep inside of your golden heart. I need to know, I need to learn to understand you and I'm asking for your help to make it through. I cant do it alone, its so difficult. I dont want to lose you again, I cant bear the feeling of not having a place in your heart for the second time. I want to be there, in your heart, in your mind, in your dream, in your future, in your each thought, in your life. I want to walk by your side as long as I'm breathing. I dont want to give up yet, I love you. I love us too much. The memories we both created are out of the ordinary, plain sole. I cant imagine myself watching them fade away. I know its my fault and I apologise from the bottom of my heart. Please dont let me sleep with bad night thoughts again tonight, I dont like it. It hurts. And I miss you, so badly. x

sincerely,
shasha